Welcome to Breaking Geek, a column where uber-geek Nick Doll offers commentary and reactions to the most interesting news of the week (or whatever he feels like), using his expansive knowledge of all things geek! Today I have a special guest who will add his thoughts. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome… Venom!

Will Venom suck?

We are Venom! Will we suck? Suck the eyes out of your sockets and eat your tasty brains because we do that now. 

It’s a question we’ve all be asking, since the announcement of the project.

We haven’t been asking anything! Turd in the wind, blah blah blah.

Immediately after said announcement, there were two concerns…

Sony hasn’t made a good superhero film since Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man (2002) and Spider-Man 2 (2004), two films that eventually shaped the current look and feel of most modern superhero movies including the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But then, Sony shit the bed with Spider-Man 3, particularly the use of Venom. And after that, they really shit all over the entire bedroom with the disastrous Amazing Spider-Man and its sequel, which set up the next film instead of delivering anything worthwhile.

We WERE Venom… We ate Raimi and Sony whole.

The other major concern is that Spider-Man isn’t part of Venom’s origin in this film? How is this a Venom movie then? His very origins and power set are linked to the time the symbiote was using Peter Parker as a host. Hell, if Spider-Man and Venom do cross paths in the future, the personal hatred Venom has for Spider-Man won’t be earned. It’s all about the suit feeling abandoned and betrayed by Peter.

We still hate the Spider.

Now, months later, on the Monday before Venom‘s release, we’ve seen all the trailers, multiple movie clips, and have gotten a great look at Sony’s new visual take of Spider-Man’s greatest foe.

So, after all this new information, let us return to the query: Will Venom suck? Has anything really changed since the announcement as far as our fears of Sony screwing it up? Has Sony doomed the character again? Let’s explore!

The Trailers

The first, teaser trailer for Venom was miserable. Without any real sort of CG effects, we were treated to Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) running through the forest, seeming to use psychic powers, and causing cars to flip for no apparent reason. And having some sort of seizure?

I tore this first teaser trailer apart in an earlier Breaking Geek.

Once the effects were added, it looked a little better. The scenes shown before made sense when the tendrils of the Symbiote were added. He doesn’t have psychic powers, that was just a completely unfinished shot!

The symbiote speaks to Brock…

We like Eddie…

…A cool thing we see in the comics that Spider-Man 3 did not touch. And we finally saw an actual Venom! Not in the shadows, not barely seen; quite a bit of him! Unless this film is mis-advertised (as it very well could be), we’ll be seeing more of the hulking anti-hero than I thought. My original assumption was that we’d just see Tom Hardy for most the film, using the suit without transforming fully.

After all, who in the world would stick Tom Hardy behind a mask?

The trailers have certainly improved my outlook for this film, but it still looks painfully pedestrian. I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to tell the difference between Venom and the villain in the finale!

And a “turd in the wind?” What the Fuck are you talking about, Venom my man?

Deadpool taught us about poop jokes. So we improvised.

We’ve seen good footage, but also a lot of WTF moments. So, I guess that’s an improvement?

The Look

Venom does look cool this go-around. He’s big, as he should be, he’s slimy, and he’s got serious tongue!

 We are not tiny anymore. We’re like 10 Topher Graces! WE ARE VENOM!

The white spider symbol on his chest is missing, as it should be without including Spider-Man in the origin.

Yet, the rest of his look is fantastic. Actually beyond this Venom’s fan’s wildest dreams! This time, that’s MY Venom… mostly… mostly…

That’s not to say the loss of the white spider symbol doesn’t hurt. It still stings. Because you NEED to tell Spidey’s story with the black suit first.

We aren’t a suit. We are so much more.

Prove me wrong, Sony! Prove me wrong…

The Clips!

We’ve seen a few clips from the film so far — with Sony taking a page from Marvel Studios — including two action scenes; Venom taking out a bunch of soldiers, and Eddie Brock being helpless as the symbiote saves him in his apartment from mercenaries.

The latter scene feels just like an extended scene from the trailer, save for the suit talking to Eddie.

The former, unfortunately, shows an overpowered, nearly invincible Venom that even Spider-Man could not defeat. He does some cool shit in that scene — though it is pretty pedestrian looking action after the decades of superhero movies we’ve seen since Spider-Man — but Venom’s too powerful!

I don’t remember Venom being bulletproof! Are fire and high frequency sound his only weaknesses now?

We have no weaknesses. Just hunger. 

But That PG-13 Rating Though…

Yes, I wrote a Breaking Geek just last week about how Studios need to stop fearing the R-rating and give adults the comic book films they deserve. So, I won’t repeat myself.

I will include what sounds like a bullshit quote from director Ruben Fleischer from an article we shared last Friday:

“We honestly always intended it to be what it was. I feel like we didn’t sacrifice anything in making it. We pushed the limits really far, and I don’t think that fans who want a murderous, ferocious, violent Venom will be disappointed. I feel like we really let him go wild. I don’t think it lacks anything. But what I love about it is that it allows all audiences to come out and see it. Some of the biggest fans of Venom are kids. He’s this forbidden fruit for especially younger boys. This character who can do whatever he wants and not have to listen, and be wild and ferocious, and so we wanted to make sure that all fans can come to the movie and not be excluded.”

Fine. But, since we are leaving out Spider-Man anyway, why not shoot the moon? Especially if Carnage is to come in a sequel. We need an R-Rated Cletus Kasady, but Sony has laid the groundwork for a PG-13 franchise.

This rating is definitely reason to be less optimistic about the film.

Why do you hurt us so?

RELATED: Why Are Studios Still Afraid Of Making R-Rated Superhero Movies? | Breaking Geek

Is An Eventual Crossover With Spider-Man Enough?

As alluded to earlier, why even make Spider-Man and Venom foes… or allies against Carnage, without their shared history/origin?

Again, director Ruben Fleischer tries to explain in a way that doesn’t piss off Venom fans in an interview we had with him last week (full interview coming later this week):

“The obvious thing that we are all excited to do is have Venom face off against Spider-Man at some point. So that was something…we knew we couldn’t use Spider-Man in this movie or didn’t want to use him in this movie. But we were all really excited about the potential for Spider-Man and Venom at some point in the future meeting up. Without spoiling anything, there are other adversaries from the world of Venom that we’re excited to meet up with in the future.”

“I felt like this movie is Venom’s movie and I didn’t want to distract from that. There is more than enough to explore with Eddie Brock and Venom in this film that we felt very satisfied with the story that we were telling.”

Our movie? We like a solo movie. But were is the Spider and his lovely, lovely brains? Again, we may eat brains now. We are Venom.

These quotes from Fleischer makes it immediately obvious that he doesn’t understand Venom. As we’ve said again and again…

Us too…

You can’t have a true Venom story without Spider-Man! It doesn’t fucking work! Damn you, Sony! Damn you all to hell!

Consensus

Yes, I still think Venom will suck. My favorite comic book villain ruined a second time! Just buy Sony, Disney. Add that stone to your gauntlet.

I guess I’ll find out when I see it this Wednesday. I’m not reviewing the film, but I’ll have a second opinion on Venom on Thursday or Friday here on Breaking Geek.

We’ll find out. Won’t we Eddie?

My name ain’t Eddie, but sure man, sure. Just don’t turn me into a turd or whatnot, you sick bastard!

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