Fandoms can be quite the double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s fantastic to have a group of people so passionate about something come together and bond over their mutual love. On the other, it has the potential to lead to a toxic environment where hate breeds more hate and ultimately leads to the dehumanization of those responsible for the less-popular aspects.

In Star Wars, one such person is Kelly Marie Tran. Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi brought out a lot of passionate hate from fans, but she was likely the one to get the worst of it. While Johnson got plenty of knocks on his vision and his viability as a director, Tran received hate that came in the form of racist and sexist hate speech that ultimately drove her away from the social media platform Instagram.

In a lengthy essay on The New York Times, she spoke out for the first time, pretty much confirming the speculation regarding her departure. Here are a couple key snippets from the piece:

“It wasn’t their words, it’s that I started to believe them.”

“Their words seemed to confirm what growing up as a woman and a person of color already taught me: that I belonged in margins and spaces, valid only as a minor character in their lives and stories.”

“And those words awakened something deep inside me — a feeling I thought I had grown out of. The same feeling I had when at 9, I stopped speaking Vietnamese altogether because I was tired of hearing other kids mock me. Or at 17, when at dinner with my white boyfriend and his family, I ordered a meal in perfect English, to the surprise of the waitress, who exclaimed, “Wow, it’s so cute that you have an exchange student!'”

“Their words reinforced a narrative I had heard my whole life: that I was “other,” that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, simply because I wasn’t like them. And that feeling, I realize now, was, and is, shame, a shame for the things that made me different, a shame for the culture from which I came from. And to me, the most disappointing thing was that I felt it at all.”

[…]

“And as much as I hate to admit it, I started blaming myself. I thought, “Oh, maybe if I was thinner” or “Maybe if I grow out my hair” and, worst of all, “Maybe if I wasn’t Asian.” For months, I went down a spiral of self-hate, into the darkest recesses of my mind, places where I tore myself apart, where I put their words above my own self-worth.”

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Of course, if you want to check out the piece in its entirety, you can click the source link at the bottom of this article, but it’s very clear that the fandom drove her inward in a pretty tragic way.

In today’s political climate, I think this is the perfect response, and while I doubt those who are most guilty about leaning into her race or sex, I’m hoping at least a few will realize just how much power their words actually have.

What do you think of this response? Let us know your thoughts down below!

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SOURCE: The New York Times