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– by David Kozlowski

I gotta be honest, I wasn’t sold on the first Deadpool 2 trailer. It felt kind of flat. Totally by-the-numbers. Maybe I was just suffering from sequelitis — it’s a thing. And then today the new DP2 trailer dropped and… look, I’m gonna need a minute…

[Openly weeps. Not embarrassed at all.]

OK, I’m back. I don’t normally gush, or rave, over trailers, they’re manipulative and phony and designed to fake you out. (See: Suicide Squad.) But that’s me being jaded and bitter; instead, let’s focus on optimism and joy and all of the other NSFW stuff in this new video. Watch it, you’ll like it, I promise.

Related – Deadpool 2 Trailer: From The Studio That Brought You 27 Dresses

But in case you’re not convinced, lemme break it down for you. Warning: I shall use profanity, but it’s in service of this R-rated anti-superhero film. You’ll be fine. Let’s proceed…

Deadpool

This guy.

The Merc with a Mouth is back, but he’s clearly not your typical vigilante. We know this because the trailer opens with Deadpool fleeing some common street thugs and diving into a taxi; he escapes, but (apparently) soils himself in the process. Welcome home, red. We missed you.

We’re then treated to a lovely montage of beheadings, stabbings, shootings (at least one while wearing 4-inch heels, which my wife says would be challenging). Any concerns for director David Leitch’s action chops should be put to bed, this is solid, brutal, bloody, and occasionally stupid stuff (as it should be).

Also, Morena Baccarin’s Vanessa is back, and their slightly uncomfortable mutant romance continues. Don’t they look sweet together? They’re even talking about kids! Write that down, it’s exactly what you should tell your significant other if you want him/her/other to see this movie with you. Trust me.

Cable

All that CG and they couldn’t fix his teeth?

Wow, Cable seems like a real asshole. He’s out to kill a kid, he’s overcompensating with that huge gun, and he wears a cape. I’m not saying that Cable is a dick, but he sure is acting dickish in this trailer.

Counterpoint: Cable gives Deadpool a great big beatdown, which I’m sure he absolutely deserved. Cable is weird; I’m not sure I like this guy, but I love what he’s selling. Look, I’m sure Cable comes around in the end — you just know he’s got a softer side.

X-Force

Assemble!

I honestly don’t know anything about this particular version of X-Force. I read the hell out of Peter Milligan and Mike Allred’s Marvel Comics run (a bunch of years ago) and this ain’t that. However, the gaggle of X-types in this trailer looks kind of amazing: Terry Crews, Stefan Kapicic, Shioli Katsuna, Brianna Hildebrand, Bill Skarsgard, and Zazie Beetz (these are their people names, not their character names, just FYI). We also get a quick cameo of Deadpool pulling donuts in Professor X’s wheelchair, which seemed disrespectful.

The trailer doesn’t linger long on these new characters, but they each have a cool visual style and even flash a little flair in their moves. I want to know more about this team! And then, for some reason, they willingly follow Deadpool into combat by jumping out of an airplane, which has ‘bad idea’ written all over it.

The Summary

I just like this image — she’s so pretty.

This new Deadpool 2 trailer ends on another beat-em-up montage. Swords, shotguns, martial arts, distracted-driving incidents… wait, did Deadpool just drop a guy with a cinderblock to the face? Yes, yes he did. This movie has everything!

Kids, let’s be honest, this is the superhero flick your mom won’t let you see — but when I was your age, I totally would have found a way… don’t let me down.

This is the Deadpool sequel you’ve been waiting two long years to see, does it measure up to your impossible expectations? Let us know in the comments down below!

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SOURCE: 20th Century Fox

David Kozlowski is a writer, podcaster, and visual artist. A U.S. Army veteran, David worked 20 years in the videogame industry and is a graduate of Arizona State University's Film and Media Studies.