This week on the B movie docket is Bullets of Justice

B movies are the glue stuck in between all the other genres, oftentimes refusing to conform to any particular genre presets. Some but not all of the hallmarks of a B movie include scripts that read like they were written by a room full of eighth-graders, poor visual effects, cringe-inducing dialogue, low budget production design, and zany plot contrivances. You’re aware of the hallmarks, right? B-movies often reek of amateur flair. Thought you were about to watch a great white shark hunted in dramatic fashion like only Steven Spielberg can deliver? Nope, this is Sharknado.

Why do we love B movies? I think B movies are comforting. You know what you’re about to watch is bad. If you’re fortunate it may be so bad that it’s good. You’ll often scratch your head trying to work out the plot. Out of the many good films you’ve seen, I bet you can talk with more vigor about the worst ones you’ve seen. They’re unforgettable. There’s something comforting about that I think. Besides they’ve been around just as long as the movie industry.

Believe it or not, chances are there’s a B movie for you. So I compiled a list of 50 B movies you must see before you die. No decade is off-limits. No rating is too taboo. For the next 49 weeks, I will introduce and recommend a B movie for your viewing pleasure. Yes, these are exciting times indeed my fanatical friends.

WEEK 48 – Bullets of Justice (2019)

Welcome back to 50 B Movies. This week’s movie is Bullets of Justice. The genre is sci-fi action.  It has all the vibes you’d want in a B movie. Watch with caution as it is a hard R rating. There are several graphic scenes of sex, violence, and ungodliness.  But all in all it’s like watching Terminator with pigs and a dose of Zoolander for good measure. And it features all-time movie bada## Danny Trejo.

Bullets of Justice is directed by Valeri Milev and Timur Turisbekov. I could not find any previous director credits online for Turisbekov. However Milev has credits with titles such as Re-Kill, and Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort. While I have yet to see either of those two films. I will watch them as a potential for this list. Because Bullets of Justice is really good.

Crass

Rob is the type who sleeps with his sister and his assistants. In fact, for his assistants it’s is an entry-level task. And I’m not even sure if what was going on was implied or real. It may have been decent CGI. He also happens to be heavy into atheism. This hero’s punchline is “there is no god”.

Inventive Plot

The plot for Bullets of Justice is inventive at the minimum. And other times the plot is off the walls insane. The setting is the future. Whereat some point mankind lost a war to a race of mutated pig-men. This future is bleak indeed. To top it off,  machine gun-toting pig-men fly via the aid of jet packs, equipped with a stowaway hatch for a gun-toting little person. Does that sound like your type of film? If so, I have good news for you. That happens within the first ten minutes of the movie.

There are many threads to this story. But the central focus is on Rob Justice. He is portrayed by actor/director Timur Turisbekov. We spend most of the movie with him and his sister Nina. She is played by actress Yana Marinova.

Interestingly, Bullets of Justice was originally planned as a series. After some thought the filmmakers decided to go the movie route. And it seems like the filmmakers crammed every idea they had for that series into this one film. There is a lot. But being in B movie territory that is great. For instance, there is a villain straight out of Zoolander, and a final showdown with some nifty dance moves.

Trejo and co

Danny Trejo AKA Machete plays a character named Grave-Digger. This movie is not pulling any punches with the names. You can add Grave-Digger to the list of bada## Trejo names. It will join Machete, Sharkey, Geronimo, and Night Wolf. It is also worth mentioning Trejo has played a character named Trejo. That was in Michael Mann’s 1995 film Heat.

Sadly, even with a bad@@ name like Grave-Digger, Trejo wasn’t the lead in this one. So, we as the viewer don’t get tons of time with him. Most of the plot centers on his son, Rob Justice’s quest to slay the mother of the pig-men. The correct terminology for the pig-men in Bullets of Justice is muzzles.

Rob is an interesting character, to say the least. He is raised in a post-apocalyptic world run by murderous pig-men. The humans that haven’t been killed already are herded like animals to feed the queen muzzle known as the great mother. His quest is to find a time machine to travel back in time and save the world. It just so happens the time machine is deep in muzzle territory.

Post-apocalyptic madness

I have to say the filmmakers strove to provide something wild, nuts, and inventive every moment the film runs. The muzzles have their own language and it’s interesting to watch these pig-men communicate and kill. There are a lot of kills. I lost count. There are moments where Rob goes full shotgun fury on the muzzles. And what’s left behind is a gory mess of pig parts.

Sometimes the action is broken up by Rob’s visions. And not the Justice League Knightmare type. See Rob is bewitched by visions of his nemesis’s amazing rear end. These visions happen abruptly and provide gleeful humor.

Rob is the queer savior of a world that didn’t know it needed saving. Because he already saved it. That doesn’t make a lot of sense. But it happens in Bullets of Justice. This B movie takes a cattle rod to what I thought a B movie could be. It’s a twisted and amusing romp through a future run by muzzles.

 

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