– by Joseph Jammer Medina

This coming Monday, North America will fall victim to a solar eclipse. This is an event that takes place when the moon will completely cover the sun, and in this particular instance, 14 states will be able to witness path of totality, pretty much seeing it head-on. While astronomy nerds everywhere are planning vacations around this seemingly natural event, you lucky few who’ve clicked on our not clickbait title will know the truth.

This event is not a natural one, contrary to what the so-called scientists say. It’s one that’s been thought up by some of the brightest minds over at 20th Century Fox for one purpose, and one purpose only: to allow moviegoers to experience a true “golden circle” in advance of the release of their upcoming movie, Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

That’s right, the megalomaniacs over at the studio have worked overtime to literally move the move in the path of the sun. In order to make this dream a reality, they had to harness 10,000 tons of liquid hydrogen and nitrogen tetroxide in conjunction with 22 million pounds of thrust. That’s a whole lot of firepower for one movie. But will it be an effective marketing campaign?

In response to that question, director of market research had the following to say:

“Will people respond? They’re already planning their f**king vacations around it. We’re literally moving the moon!”

Of course, this is something that poses a potential threat to the Earth’s ecosystem, perhaps even wiping out a portion of the Earth’s population prior to the film’s release on September 22, 2017. Go big or go home, we guess.

The official synopsis for Kingsman: The Golden Circle is below:

Kingsman: The Secret Service introduced the world to Kingsman – an independent, international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion, whose ultimate goal is to keep the world safe. In Kingsman: The Golden Circle, our heroes face a new challenge. When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, their journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US called Statesman, dating back to the day they were both founded. In a new adventure that tests their agents’ strength and wits to the limit, these two elite secret organizations band together to defeat a ruthless common enemy, in order to save the world, something that’s becoming a bit of a habit for Eggsy…”

Should we survive this deadly solar eclipse, will you be seeing Kingsman: The Golden Circle, and do you think Fox has been just a little bit careless with their wads of cash? Let us know down below!

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SOURCE: 20th Century Fox

Joseph Jammer Medina is an author, podcaster, and editor-in-chief of LRM. A graduate of Chapman University's Dodge College of Film and Television, Jammer's always had a craving for stories. From movies, television, and web content to books, anime, and manga, he's always been something of a story junkie.