Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the story of The Titans—enormous creatures of myth (Godzilla being one of them) who are becoming active after several millennia of slumber. Their return is an understandably divisive issue among the human population. Some, like the scientists of a shady organization known as Monarch, want to allow what they see as the “natural order” to proceed organically so that humans and titans can coexist. Others, like the U.S. government and those affected by the devastation wrought in the first movie, Godzilla (2014), champion eradication. With the opposing ideologies, only one thing is certain: wanton destruction is inevitable.

What works in Godzilla: King of the Monsters are the creature engagements and nostalgia. It is legitimately interesting to see what the giant Kaiju will do when faced with peril, created either by humans or each other.  The clashes are rather epic in scale and those who love the monster movies of old will likely find a lot to enjoy here as big clunky monsters level entire cities in berserker mode. Lifetime fans of the series will see several nods to previous Godzilla films as King of the Monsters attempts to weave together a larger universe that honors the genre’s rich history.

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While Godzilla: King of the Monsters boasts some strong designs, it suffers from a multitude of narrative and character problems, starting with Mark (Kyle Chandler). Within the first 10 minutes of the movie, Mark is established as a nature photographer, who possibly once worked with Monarch. Over the course of King of the Monsters, Mark’s true superhuman abilities are revealed as: a mechanical engineer, biophysicist, special forces operative, and possible psychic given his ability to piece things together from thin air. Mark even has the gift of mansplaining, something he does regularly and even gets to cut off a minority woman from explaining something scientific (in her established field of expertise), to make sure that he, the nature photographer who hasn’t been a part of anything that’s happening for years, can ensure everyone knows the intricacies of what is happening. He’s a very gracious white savior.

Chandler’s character is an over-powered save-the-day plot convenience, but the remaining majority of characters suffer from a different, but equally distressing, screenwriting transgression: incompetence. Anyone expecting a rich narrative within King of the Monsters will be sorely disappointed, as individuals continually make absurd choices because the script necessitates that they do so. This is further curious given just how much time we spend with humans in a film titled Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Audiences members are likely to get headaches from the never-ending litany of uncontrollable eye-rolling and face-palming they’ll endure, waiting for the next creature battle. And about those…

The staging of the fights in Godzilla: King of the Monsters is fine but be warned: if you can’t desensitize yourself to the idea that millions of people are meeting their end during the spectacle of cityscapes being reduced to ash in mere minutes, then these gladiatorial engagements might (very understandably) disturb you. But furthermore, actually watching the monster fights is exhausting given that the majority of them include a mixture of at least two of the following elements which are corrosive to the integrity of any action sequence: a) rain, b) smoke, c) nighttime, d) shaky cam POV shots, and e) quick edits. The resulting smash-em-up moments are thus maddening as too much is either obscured or incomprehensible—some wide shots are rather impressive, but they are too few and far between).

Godzilla: King of the Monsters might very well satisfy life-long kaiju aficionados, but will likely fail to impress the average filmgoer. But even to the die-hards, be warned–even this Giddorah is gonna bore ya.

Recommended if you enjoyed: Pacific Rim: Uprising, Clash of the Titans

FINAL GRADE: C-

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