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– by Joseph Jammer Medina

So you thought you heard it all? Think again. Man-child complaints are no new thing to Star Wars, and in recent years, those cries have amplified with the recently-released films. Some fans have lamented the fact that the leads in all three films so far have been female, and take special umbrage with the importance of women in Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Well, one fan went off the deep end and figured the solution was to make a “De-Feminized Fanedit” of the movie. Here’s what the description of the cut says on The Pirate Bay.

“Basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff.

It would probably be easier to make a list of things that were kept instead of things that were changed. Hardly any scene got away without cuts.

The resulting movie is (wait for it …) 46 minutes long.

Yeah I know, it’s not ideal. It’s made from a CAM source (the most recent HDTC one with the Asian hard subs, which is pretty watchable). It has issues. But it had to be done.

You will probably enjoy it most when you view it less as a blockbuster movie and more as some kind of episode from some non-existent mediocre Star Wars series.”

If you don’t want to waste your time (or endanger your computer’s safety) by downloading the cut, the editor was kind enough to give a list of all the major changes.

“- No whiny/reluctant/murderous psycho Luke.
– NO HALDO! She simply doesn’t exist. Her whole subplot doesn’t exist. The Kamikaze is carried out by Poe. ( = Poe dies.)
– Leia never scolds, questions nor demotes Poe.
– Lea dies. Kylo kills her.
– Kylo is more badass and much less conflicted and volatile.
– Kylo takes on more of Snoke’s guards, Rey struggles with a single one.
– No bomber heroism by china girl in the beginning.
– No Canto Bight.
– No superpowered Rey.
– Luke is not a semi-force-ghost and is smashed by the first laser cannon shot. (sorry, I just had to!)
– Phasma is finished after the first blow by Finn. (Women are naturally weaker than men, she isn’t force-sensitive, and we know nothing about any exo-skeleton in her suit)
– Asian chick speaks less, doesn’t bully Finn, Finn doesn’t try to escape, she is never formally introduced. She is just there and occasionally smiles at Finn or screams “Finn!”. She has no sister. Serves her right for all the heinous stuff she did.
– Lots of little cuts reducing the number of female facial shots. Too many to count. (Pun intended.)
– Quite a few scenes rearranged so that the flow of the shortened movie is still somewhat coherent.”

Sadly, if you were hoping for a cut that was at least entertaining to watch, it’s worth mentioning that because the film isn’t out yet, they couldn’t even get DVD-level footage, so yeah. It doesn’t look very good.

And, if you’re like us, you likely thought this was a big joke. Sadly, we found the file on The Pirate Bay, and it isn’t. Apparently, someone out there thought this was a cut that fans truly needed.

But what do you think? Can a 46-minute cut that diminishes the importance of female characters truly — okay, nevermind, that’s a dumb question. What do you think of this stupid cut? Let us know your thoughts down below!

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SOURCE: Pedestrian

  • Wow this guy has some major woman issues. Leia shouldn’t be scolding a bloke after all. And let’s have the man make the sacrifice. Jeez

    I’ll pass I think

  • randomironicname

    Why even give this chump any attention? Are you bored?

  • Israel

    Reading about the changes he made was more entertainment than the whole of TLJ.

  • Vito Luis

    Guy deserved an article on your website because….? Oh! Gotcha. You’re an argument baiting bunch of twats? Well how’s this…..Zzzzzzzzz

  • A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… Latino Review used to get actual scoops.

  • Behemothrex

    Hell if he wants to make a cut that completely removes Canto Bite I’m down.

  • RadicalAgnostic

    Lame.

  • estacado

    Start to LOL at the Capt. Phasma line. Then it was all gold til the end. This is a good joke. You guys are taking it way too seriously.

  • Elias Eliot

    You know by giving attention to this guy and the cut, you’re also endorsing pirated material. The movie isn’t out yet, so this is clearly not a legal project. And by writing about it, you’re sending reders in that direction.
    Wonder what else an esteemed filmsite like yours has downloaded from PirateBay…

  • TheFrank

    The reality is that TLJ is a bad movie. It underperformed both domestically & overseas. It has harmed the franchise, irreversibly. There is a vocal minority who keeps thinking that it’s some sort of brilliant masterpiece because it somehow “challenges” the franchise when, in fact, it does anything but.

    And now people are doing fan edits of the movie.

    This is all the fans’ fault. You could’ve had a genuine Episodes 7 – 9 from George Lucas himself. His vision. His final ending to the saga. Instead, everyone wailed and whined about Jar Jar Binks and Midichlorians. So, now you’re stuck with Snoke, Porgs, Darth Emo, Jedi Princess Mary Sue & the UnaSkywalker. Leia is dead (unless Andy Serkis & the CGI crew gets really creative), Han is dead, Luke is dead…

    But, hey! Look at the bright side! This just opens up the possibility of a Rose Tico stand-alone film! And who doesn’t want that?!!

    Enjoy Episode 9.

    • Aaron James

      I think you’re confused about which group is the vocal minority.

      • TheFrank

        Not really.

        • Aaron James

          The stats don’t back you up, I’m afraid.

    • Unc Sam

      You were doing OK until your 3rd paragraph….

      • TheFrank

        Nope. I stand by that paragraph, too. Everyone griped about every tiny little thing concerning the Prequels. I remember; I was there at the time. And, as a result, you guys got George Lucas dumped from his own franchise.

        Actually, if we really want to be technical, the box office failures of John Carter and TRON:Legacy propelled Disney to pursue Star Wars a lot sooner than expected. Originally, GL was going to make Ep. 7 by himself, than go to Disney to sell it. GL was writing Ep. 7 when he found Disney knocking on his door with a big pile of cash in hand.

        And then, of course, from what I understand, Disney’s heavy-handedness in being involved with John Carter & TRON:Legacy (including having Pixar’s team do a last nano-second, “Quick, guys… What can you do for TRON:Legacy that doesn’t involve more than $50 bucks and a day’s worth of pick-up shooting” writing) had a big part in them underperforming.

        So, in the end, Episode 8 underperforming is a result of Disney’s inability to keep it’s little mouse paws away from the creative process.

        • Unc Sam

          Just to correct a few points:

          “Everyone griped about every tiny little thing concerning the Prequels”

          Nope, not true. Some might have. Some elements of the prequels were terrible, some were good. Difficult to look past the bad stuff though.

          “you guys got George Lucas dumped”

          I can confirm I had no involvement in that whatsoever. That said, the man’s long past his best though so his removal was and still is in the best interests of the franchise.

          The particular points which let down your prior comment was inserting gutter social media terms such as “Jedi Princess Mary Sue & the UnaSkywalker”. That sort of nonsense costs credibility.

          • TheFrank

            And you’re still wrong.

            Yes, everyone went on a huge gripe-fest when The Phantom Menace & the Prequels came out. If you can’t remember it, then either you were too young at the time to remember or you just weren’t there. Either one. Doesn’t make much of a difference to me because both possibilities end with the same result.

            Yes, the fans got George Lucas dumped. They were the ones who couldn’t stop complaining about all things Prequel. Disney saw that and made sure that George Lucas wouldn’t even get Executive Producer credit (not that such a credit means anything – Ask Steven Lisberger how much input he was able to give for TRON:Legacy… Maybe he got access to the food craft’s table on occasion. That’s about it).

            As for personalizing the above comment… Go see a psychotherapist for that. You’ll feel better afterwards.

            As for “gutter social media terms,” they also have the added benefit of being accurate. I can’t even claim credit for either of them although “The UnaSkywalker” is a bit of stretch for the kiddies.

            If it makes you feel any better, the Porgs were cute. I can’t fault Rian there.

          • Unc Sam

            Hi Frank.

            Just to correct you…again

            **warning, FACTS incoming!**

            “And you’re still wrong.”

            I’m demonstrably not. I can re-confirm I had nothing to do with George Lucas being removed from the franchise. Feel free not to take my word for it, you’re welcome to contact Mr Lucas, Bob Eiger, Kathleen Kennedy.

            George Lucas hasn’t written a decent story since the 1970’s. Without the influences of collaborators such as Gary Kurtz we end up with Ewoks, midichlorians, Tarzan impressions and the Anakin/Padme love story.

            “Yes, everyone went on a huge gripe-fest when The Phantom Menace & the Prequels came out.”

            I had a laugh about how mostly terrible it was with my mates in the pub, that was about it. It was a source of fun rather than frustration. Perhaps you had a different experience though.

            “The reality is that TLJ is a bad movie.”

            We’re in agreement on that part.

  • Unc Sam

    Poor judgement from LR giving this the oxygen of publicity.

  • Kronx

    I don’t know. I read the notes as being sarcastic.

    Makes me want to go re-edit John Wick so he gets shot and killed in the first gunfight, as that is what would have likely happened.

  • Azazel

    When did you turn into such an insufferable troll?

Joseph Jammer Medina is an author, podcaster, and editor-in-chief of LRM. A graduate of Chapman University's Dodge College of Film and Television, Jammer's always had a craving for stories. From movies, television, and web content to books, anime, and manga, he's always been something of a story junkie.