This week on the B movie docket is Tusk.
B movies are the glue stuck in between all the other genres, oftentimes refusing to conform to any particular genre presets. Some but not all of the hallmarks of a B movie include scripts that read like they were written by a room full of eighth-graders, poor visual effects, cringe-inducing dialogue, low budget production design, and zany plot contrivances. You’re aware of the hallmarks, right? B-movies often reek of amateur flair. Thought you were about to watch a great white shark hunted in dramatic fashion like only Steven Spielberg can deliver? Nope, this is Sharknado.
Why do we love B movies? I think B movies are comforting. You know what you’re about to watch is bad. If you’re fortunate it may be so bad that it’s good. You’ll often scratch your head trying to work out the plot. Out of the many good films you’ve seen, I bet you can talk with more vigor about the worst ones you’ve seen. They’re unforgettable. There’s something comforting about that I think. Besides they’ve been around just as long as the movie industry.
Believe it or not, chances are there’s a B movie for you. So I compiled a list of 50 B movies you must see before you die. No decade is off-limits. No rating is too taboo. For the next 49 weeks, I will introduce and recommend a B movie for your viewing pleasure. Yes, these are exciting times indeed my fanatical friends.
WEEK 4 – Tusk
It’s another week and another entry. If you’re reading this it means you are a survivor. Keep surviving. I never thought I’d ever get to write those words and have it actually ring true. Though we are not in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, this COVID-19 epidemic is hitting the world pretty hard right now. One of the best things you can do right now is stay inside and watch B movies. This week’s entry is Kevin Smith’s 2014 movie Tusk.
Tusk is messed up. It’s gross, absurd, and cheesy. It is a great B movie. Tusk follows Jeepers Creepers’ Justin Long who plays a podcasting host. His costar is The Sixth Sense’s Haley Joel Osment. Tusk does to the aquatic mammal family what The Human Centipede did to the insect family. To put the plot in simple terms; there’s a man that wants to make a walrus out of a human. That sick psychopath who cooked up the idea is played by the late Michael Parks from the Kill Bill franchise.
RELATED – Shoot ‘Em Up | 50 B Movies To See Before You Die
Tusk follows Long’s character as he and podcast co-host Haley Joel Osment. Together, they dig up weird and obscure videos from the internet for the show’s material. Long’s quest for the ultimate scoop leads him face to face with an eccentric advertisement posted in a men’s bathroom. Of course Long answers the ad. From there we quickly find out the mad lunacy of the advertiser. He happens to be holed up in a mansion like some twisted Doctor Hannibal Lector version of Howard Hughes. Once Long falls into the trap, it’s just one constant near hallucinogenic descent into depravity.
Ever wondered what two men in walrus suits battling to the death would look like? Then stop now and go track down a copy of Tusk. You seriously need to see a man be mentally broken into believing he is a walrus. Because movies like this never get made again. See Tusk before you die.
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