This week on the B movie docket is Shoot ‘Em Up.
B movies are the glue stuck in between all the other genres, oftentimes refusing to conform to any particular genre presets. Some but not all of the hallmarks of a B-movie include scripts that read like they were written by a room full of eighth graders, poor visual effects, cringe inducing dialogue, low budget production design, and zany plot contrivances. You’re aware of the hallmarks, right? B-movies often reek of amateur flair. Thought you were about to watch a great white shark hunted in dramatic fashion like only Steven Spielberg can deliver? Nope, this is Sharknado.
Why do we love B movies? I think B movies are comforting. You know what you’re about to watch is bad. If you’re fortunate it may be so bad that it’s good. You’ll often scratch your head trying to work out the plot. Out of the many good films you’ve seen, I bet you can talk with more vigor about the worst ones you’ve seen. They’re unforgettable. There’s something comforting about that I think. Besides they’ve been around just as long as the movie industry.
Believe it or not, chances are there’s a B movie for you. So I compiled a list of 50 B movies you must see before you die. No decade is off-limits. No rating is too taboo. For the next 49 weeks, I will introduce and recommend a B movie for your viewing pleasure. Yes, these are exciting times indeed my fanatical friends.
WEEK 3 – Shoot ‘Em Up
This week we have another B movie that you need to see before you die. Though, unlike most, this week’s B movie was released theatrically. It’s a pure miracle and testament to the will of director Michael Davis that he got his baby made. This week’s movie is Shoot ‘Em Up.
My god, what can I say about this film? To me, this movie is akin to the American version of Takashi Miike’s auteur classic Ichi The Killer. Shoot ‘Em Up is high in violence, sex, and the absurd. The movie is not for the faint of heart. It out Crank’s Jason Statham’s Crank. The sheer level of absurdity makes this an above grade B movie. Shoot ‘Em Up features I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead’s Clive Owen at the height of his career. His co-star is the always-stunning bombshell actress Matrix Reloaded’s Monica Bellucci. Acting opposite and portraying the film’s main heavy is Amazing Spiderman 2’s Paul Giamatti.
RELATED – Killer Sofa | 50 B Movies To See Before You Die
The on screen talent deliver in all the ways you’d want out of a B movie. Believe me, I am solidifying the cheese in Shoot ‘Em Up. One of the great things about the trio of Owen, Bellucci, and Giamatti is they all bring an absurd level of cheese to the table. Clive Owen portrays the classic silent hero with no name. It just so happens he eats carrots and murders guys faster than Billy The Kid can blink. Monica Bellucci portrays a hooker with a heart of gold. She just happens to continuously lactate and her johns have a serious jonesing for it. And last but certainly not least, Paul Giamatti. This man chews up the scenery here as if it were an Asian buffet.
Now, Shoot ‘Em Up had an interesting development process. At the time in the early 2000’s director Michael Davis was looking to get the movie made. The plot was straightforward. A lone gunman must protect a baby that is marked for death. The gunman answers every question with a bullet. Everyone gets shot. He shoots so many people. There are all sorts of shoot outs. I bet you one dollar you haven’t seen this level of shootouts before. Think Matrix’s bullet time was inventive? Wait till you see Owen and Bellucci making love while gunning down bad guys. Shoot ‘Em Up has gunplay, and even wordplay that involves guns too. Shoot ‘Em Up is a great B movie.
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