What If…. Zombies? Even the name of this episode is terrible and doesn’t really tell us anything about the premise other than there’s Zombies. Problem is, that about sums up any attempt at a plot or a story that makes sense this week. I’m not saying there were no good moments in this week’s episode, but not enough for this Marvel fan. Full disclosure, I’m prejudiced against Zombie movies and stories. In fact the only recent story where I have enjoyed seeing the dead walking was Game of Thrones and that was fantasy magic.
This was always going to be a tough for sell for me then? Though, I can think of a few different ways the zombie plague could have made more sense, to me anyway, cough, magic. What we got, just didn’t work and I’ll get into that more within the spoiler section of this review. For now, here is what I thought with no spoilers.
What If….Zombies? has some fun moments and it would be wrong for me not to mention that Paul Rudd is 100% the best thing in this episode as Scott Lang. Equally there were some cool moments in this one, certain battles or confrontations were exciting. However the plot stringing the while story together was ludicrous to me, and was compounded by a final shot stinger which just made me roll my eyes.
The emotion and character exploration of last week’s Doctor Strange Episode were sadly absent here. No, in this episode the people who were in a group die, and the rest make jokes about them and move on. Maybe it was the speed of which all the events happened. Whereas the last couple of weeks we have had a slower pace, and for the better, this feels like Episode 1. By that I mean that it feels like a two-hour movie that has been crammed into thirty-minutes and all the character moments have been taken away.
I’ll get into a few more specifics after the spoiler warning below. Oh, and if you are the dude form last week, who complained I spoiled the episode for you. See this, this is a spoiler warning and if you read on below this image and get spoiled, that’s on you.
**Warning! What If? Episode 5 SPOILERS below!**
Ok, so this Zombie apocalypse began during Ant-Man and the Wasp when Janet came back a Zombie. Ok, it’s just a quantum realm virus. So the show should be called, What If Janet Van Dyne had caught a silly virus in the Quantum Realm? The virus is immediate upon getting a bite, well, until the writers want to milk Hope’s death some more, so she inexplicably turns much slower. The Avengers themselves you’d think would have held out longer than most. Nope, because Hank Pym went small so he could bite Captain America. Though how Zombies are somehow able to retain all their intelligence and reasoning, and magic, and abilities I’m not sure? Isn’t the whole point of Zombies that they revert into an animalistic stats controlled by only their urges?
Never mind the fact that zombie’s with no muscles left, or bodily processes going on don’t just fall over snapped legs. How can they be strong, or fight. You can see why I think zombie’s in general are just a dumb idea and I don’t watch those movies anymore as a result.
As I said up top, Paul Rudd almost saved this episode with his turn as Scott Lang’s head in a jar. Sure, that makes no more sense than Zombies, but it’s so tongue in cheek it works. Like in Episode 2, it was bonkers, but also just insanely good fun with a comedy tone which saved it. What If….Zombies? cannot get the balance right here between comedy and dark. Though I would definitely like to see more of head in a jar Scott Lang. Some of the fights were pretty awesome as well, the whole Vision/Wanda sequence was the best part of the show for me and I thought it was turning the corner.
However the final nail in the coffin for me, is the final shot stinger. So the heroes are on the way to Wakanda, where it must be safe, they have a cure and a way to distribute it. Seems like we are heading to a satisfying conclusion, even if not a happy one as so many are dead. Then we get shown that somehow, a Zombie Thanos has gotten into Wakanda with all but the Mind Stone.
This is the part of the Episode which makes the least sense. 1. Why is Thanos in Wakanda, he only went there in Infinity War because that’s where the final stone was? 2. How did a being born of Eternals like Thanos catch this virus, who got close enough to bite him? 3. Would some contagion from the Quantum Realm even affect a being such as Thanos who has five Infinity Stones on his hand?
It was a bridge too far and you know we are inevitably getting the Zombies sequel in What If? Season 2. Sorry, but this one fell as flat as a dead man’s muscles for me. However let us know what you thought? Where do you rank What If…. Zombies? Tell us below.