This week on the B movie docket is Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
B movies are the glue stuck in between all the other genres, oftentimes refusing to conform to any particular genre presets. Some but not all of the hallmarks of a B movie include scripts that read like they were written by a room full of eighth-graders, poor visual effects, cringe-inducing dialogue, low budget production design, and zany plot contrivances. You’re aware of the hallmarks, right? B-movies often reek of amateur flair. Thought you were about to watch a great white shark hunted in dramatic fashion like only Steven Spielberg can deliver? Nope, this is Sharknado.
Why do we love B movies? I think B movies are comforting. You know what you’re about to watch is bad. If you’re fortunate it may be so bad that it’s good. You’ll often scratch your head trying to work out the plot. Out of the many good films you’ve seen, I bet you can talk with more vigor about the worst ones you’ve seen. They’re unforgettable. There’s something comforting about that I think. Besides they’ve been around just as long as the movie industry.
Believe it or not, chances are there’s a B movie for you. So I compiled a list of 50 B movies you must see before you die. No decade is off-limits. No rating is too taboo. For the next 49 weeks, I will introduce and recommend a B movie for your viewing pleasure. Yes, these are exciting times indeed my fanatical friends.
WEEK 5 – Killer Klowns From Outer Space
This week’s movie to see before you die is Killer Klowns From Outer Space. I should probably end this article right here, because that title almost speaks for itself. There’s not much else I can say. Why else would anyone need further convincing to see a movie titled Killer Klowns From Outer Space?
But if you need some reasons to see this, here are a few. There are killer clowns that have been visiting earth since the dawn of man. Like Predator, they visit earth to kill. But instead of pulling spines, they turn people into cotton candy. And then they drink cotton candy’d people. They also throw pies that melt their targets. There’s also a scene where a Killer Clown inserts his hand right into the back of a cop played by the late John Vernon and makes him perform like a hand puppet.
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Killer Klowns From Outer Space is screwed up. Do you remember that scene from Batman 1989 when Joker threw a Macy’s day parade in Gotham City? Well, the Clowns get down with a parade of their own. Unlike Joker who wants to poison Gotham, the Clowns are turning bystanders into nourishment for clowns. You need to see this film.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space has a lot of cheese. That’s one of the several reasons this film made the list. But most of all, the acting is cheesy. There’s one great actor by the name of John Vernon in the film. One thing you will notice is that he is acting in an entirely different film than the rest of the cast. Seriously, Vernon is straight-up acting in a black and white noir. Unfortunately, Vernon passed away in 2005. If you’re a fan of Batman The Animated Series then you might recognize his voice. Back in the 90’s Vernon voiced the character of mob boss Rupert Thorne. He also was around long enough to have been directed by Alfred Hitchcock. Plus he was also in one of my two favorites from the ’90s: Doogie Howser, M.D, and Tales From The Crypt.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space is classic B movie making at its finest. If you have Netflix you can stream it now. The movie has to be seen by anyone that’s a fan of B movies. You thought Pennywise was scary? These Killer Clowns would turn him and that Losers club into Cotton Candy with one shot of their ray gun.
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