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– by Nick Doll

Welcome to Breaking Geek, a weekly column where uber-geek Nick Doll offers commentary and reactions to the most interesting news of the week, using his expansive knowledge of all things geek!

Woody Harrelson As Carnage? This Dude Would Be Waaaay Better!

I know Woody is hot right now, being in Solo: A Star Wars Story and a dozen other films a year, and I like the guy. Good actor. But, is he the right fit to play Carnage in Sony’s Venom, as rumored recently? I don’t think so.

You know who is just right for Carnage? Jackie Earle Haley.

I literally can’t see anyone else in the role as Cletus Kasady. More so than any other role he’s played, Haley was born to play Carnage. He’s a creepy, little, violent mother fucker, the perfect person to fully terrorize us as the serial killer turned symbiote-wearer, Carnage. Though he is far smaller than Tom Hardy (as Carnage is to Venom in the comics), I’d buy that his clear insanity could pose a real issue for Eddie Brock. 

That being said, I still don’t like that this Venom movie is happening without a full Black Suit origin story involving Spider-Man. Prove me wrong, Sony! Prove me wrong!

Do you have a better pick to play Carnage? Please let me know in the comment section below!

Will Indiana Jones Become A Woman? My Top Picks For Either Eventuality

This week, Steven Spielberg not only confirmed that Indiana Jones 5, which he shoots in April of next year, would be Harrison Ford’s last adventure as everyone’s favorite archaeologist, but that Ford’s replacement could be a woman.

Now, Spielberg’s total thought was completely off base, saying:

“We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan. And there would be nothing wrong with that.”

Except… Jones is Indiana’s last name. His first name is actually Henry. So the last name would not need to change at all, should this new “Indiana Jones” be a reboot or relative of the original Henry Jones Jr.

Contrary to what I remember him saying not long after Disney purchased Lucasfilm and announced an Indiana Jones film by 2020, Spielberg feels the franchise can continue without Ford, and perhaps his predecessor could be a woman. Originally, Spielberg said the franchise would not continue past his and Ford’s involvement.

Now, the movie purist in me wants to shout, “Indiana Jones is a man! Just like James Bond, you can’t just gender-swap the character!” But, in 2018, though I am firmly against making Indiana Jones a woman, the franchise can live on under a different name, set in the same universe as the first five Indiana Jones films.

And there are three ways to go about this, though one is terrible.

First option, a lost daughter of Henry Jones Jr. This is a terrible idea! No more long-lost children! Mutt was more than enough.

Option two, a protégé is introduced in Indiana Jones 5 that carries the franchise forward. Though this would be the most seamless transition, I don’t like it as much as the next option, as this would have us stuck in the ‘60s or so.

My favorite option is number three, pretend Jones had a protégé in his hey-day, and keep us going with adventures set in the 1930s and ‘40s. I’ve always wanted to see Indiana Jones in WWII, maybe this could be the next best thing.

What I absolutely do NOT want is Indiana Jones to suddenly become a woman… or even a different male actor. Give the franchise a new main character, set it in the same world, but DON’T call it Indiana Jones anymore.

And honestly, I may not want to see another movie in the universe if Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg aren’t around. More than most franchises, Indiana Jones is about these two individuals and no imitator can touch them.

So, ideally Indiana Jones 5 is the final film in the franchise, universe, etc. And it’s better than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

But… If not, here are the six actors I would choose to become his protégé/new star of the new, NOT titled “Indiana Jones and the  _____ of ______” series. In no particular order. Equally split between men and women, because we don’t know for sure which way they will go after Indy 5, and goddamn it, I got opinions!

Karl Urban (Star Trek Beyond, Dredd)

Feels like the perfect actor to continue Jones’ legacy. Gruff and experienced in action scenes, as well as being a great actor, Urban would be the safe choice that stays closest to the archetype of Indiana Jones. I could see him being trained by the good professor, or even playing a man with served with Indy in WWII.

Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow, A Quiet Place)

This is the strongest female choice, I feel, though I am still having more trouble coming up with female candidates for Indiana Jones than males, due to the nature of this beast and my ‘90s lizard-brain way of thinking. Blunt’s one of the best action stars working today, based on Edge of Tomorrow alone!

Pedro Pascal (Game of Thrones, Narcos)

Okay, so Pascal is another actor that just fits the Indiana Jones mold. Is he too old, you ask? Hell, no, Ford spent his initial Indiana Jones run mostly in his ‘40s. The franchise has never featured a young lead. Plus, did you see him use a lasso in Kingsman: The Golden Circle? Me want Pascal!

Tessa Thompson (Thor: Ragnarok)

Yes, you’d have to deal with the black issue because Indiana Jones films are period pieces, but that could make it all the more interesting. Of course, we spend very little time in the United States in these films, so maybe Thompson is exactly the person we need to see trouncing across Egypt and the like. She more-or-less played a Harrison Ford character in Thor: Ragnarok and has a pretty nice career lined up with the new Men In Black. Why not give this rising star another franchise?

Armie Hammer (Call Me By Your Name, The Social Network)

I just want to get this man a successful franchise! He’d be fine. I know a lot of people don’t like The Lone Ranger, but his blend of humor and action star from that film would work great for the character. See also: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Rebecca Ferguson (Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Life)

Literally, the most badass female action hero I have ever seen, thanks to Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. I’m all for her taking over that franchise, but why not toss her the whip as well? This is an Indiana Jones spin-off I WOULD totally watch!

Who would you have take over for Harrison Ford, if anyone? Please discuss with me below!


Now, I want to hear from YOU! Agree with my opinions? Think I’m wrong about everything? Let me know! Let’s get some fun discussions and arguments going in the comment section below.

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